Skip to main content

The Romney campaign today announced a surprise pick for Vice President – Exxon Mobil Corporation. “This is a game changing decision, that will really energize the true Republican base: Koch Industries, Haliburton, Walmart, Bechtel, Fox and Shell BP,” said a Romney spokesman. “It's also a breakthrough for minority rights, as it's the first time a Corporate American had appeared on the ballot. With subsidiaries in fifty eight countries and puppet regimes in six, Exxon Mobil brings to the ticket foreign policy experience focused on the only countries that matter – the ones with oil.”

When questioned by reporters about the vetting process, the spokesman said that it had been completed in a record forty eight hours by Exxon Mobil staff. Asked about the possible conflict of interest, the spokesman revealed that Exxon had been vetted by the same Exxon public servants who wrote the Cheney administration's energy policy, so they were ideally qualified for vetting a Vice Presidential candidate.

Exxon Mobil is expected to self finance the campaign. “We would have paid for it anyway,” said their CEO, “But now we get a place on the ticket, too. I know there are some racists out there who don't think that Corporate Americans are real Americans, or even real people, but this election will prove them wrong.”

A spokesman for the Obama campaign said they were not commenting on the constitutionality of this announcement until they had seen Exxon Mobil's birth certificate.

UPDATE: Wow, top of the rec list. Thanks everyone. I'll try and post more often than once every four years in future :-)

Originally posted to misterajc on Sat Mar 31, 2012 at 01:37 PM PDT.

Also republished by DKOMA.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Meteor Blades, skybluewater, mickey, Ed in Montana, Mimikatz, KeithH, raboof, Aeolus, filkertom, True North, melo, Andrew S, Trendar, Pericles, glitterscale, greendem, Cali Scribe, abarefootboy, TrueBlueMajority, NYmom, PeterHug, RunawayRose, Bob Love, bosdcla14, Sprinkles, Emerson, Khun David, sara seattle, alicia, Debby, TheGreatLeapForward, LynChi, donna in evanston, SanJoseLady, liz, meg, rhubarb, eeff, Mnemosyne, dsb, janefordean, TX Unmuzzled, polecat, frisco, SallyCat, Gram E, New Sweden, Creosote, davelf2, regis, Heart of the Rockies, UCRJames, rasbobbo, nicki37, redwagon, CoolAqua, Athenian, fugwb, jem6x, sja, CoolOnion, mkfarkus, roses, lorikay4, ivote2004, greenomanic, CodeTalker, karenc, sngmama, Glinda, aitchdee, athenap, psnyder, Nag, emmasnacker, TexDem, pat bunny, Lawrence, roseeriter, gerrilea, cosette, NYFM, QuoVadis, betson08, lcrp, riverlover, Sue Hagmeier, One bite at a time, bwintx, Exurban Mom, FlyingToaster, Sembtex, KayCeSF, tomjones, Marianne Benz, rambler american, Josiah Bartlett, Timroff, Frank Vyan Walton, guppymoo, kmbaya, nailbender, vcmvo2, maybeeso in michigan, bloomer 101, historys mysteries, Bluesee, v2aggie2, revbludge, subtropolis, klamothe, tRueffert, Erik the Red, labwitchy, kitchen sink think tank, ZappoDave, basquebob, david78209, EJP in Maine, reflectionsv37, boofdah, lennysfo, PSzymeczek, SaraBeth, doberg, CyberDem, forester, cspivey, skyounkin, sunbro, illinifan17, spunhard, Shotput8, Anna M, Ginny in CO, Floja Roja, Rogneid, peacestpete, noweasels, El Camino, third Party please, Knucklehead, Jennifer Clare, snazzzybird, Orinoco, irishwitch, cas2, Kingsmeg, RAW, Clytemnestra, impatient, HoundDog, seefleur, martyc35, kestrel9000, AoT, dougymi, flygrrl, Wary, fou, Rat Lady, blueoasis, EquiStar, NBBooks, twigg, agnostic, MarciaJ720, middleagedhousewife, onionjim, engine17, Helpless, willisnewton, doingbusinessas, Clive all hat no horse Rodeo, BB10, Stripe, Cassiodorus, means are the ends, blueoregon, revgerry, nannyboz, Tom Anderson, Temmoku, markthshark, daeros, Quicklund, ladypockt, fiver, Tamar, Sapere aude, pinkhardhat, A Mad Mad World, BeninSC, Habitat Vic, Loudoun County Dem, byDesign, Ageing Hippie, weneedahero, bamablue, linkage, LillithMc, jeanette0605, terabytes, sfbob, FischFry, GMFORD, cyncynical, SeaTurtle, beemerr, jhop7, Rumarhazzit, GeorgeXVIII, leonard145b, crystalboy, Zydekos, Prof Haley, Eugenian, vet, thewhitelist, oxon, on the cusp, Spiffarino, jwinIL14, JeffW, TX Freethinker, BobBlueMass, angry hopeful liberal, wayoutinthestix, MikePhoenix, ScottyUrb, mamamedusa, pennylane100, dadadata, elwior, filby, thetadelta, jamess, monkeybrainpolitics, Americans for a Republican Irrelevancy, weddedgay, Lujane, bluesheep, triplepoint, carver, mofembot, landroval, petulans, chemborg, MinervainNH, wyldraven, tethys, Dude1701, JPax, sagansong, Mayfly, Futuristic Dreamer, 6079SmithW, immigradvocate, toom, watercarrier4diogenes, Fiddlegirl, wv voice of reason, maggiejean, Louisiana 1976, bushondrugs, Rick Aucoin, litoralis, divineorder, Scott Wooledge, RenMin, matmak, Carol in San Antonio, pvlb, Tara the Antisocial Social Worker, Mewkey, BlueInRedCincy, shalca, DefendOurConstitution, geebeebee, elziax, CaliSista, MKSinSA, MySobriquet, COwoman, paintitblue, dtcommon, SnowItch, sfarkash, Laffy, Essephreak, citisven, Leftcandid, commonmass, parse this, brentbent, rb137, Mokurai, Vacationland, NJpeach, catwho, Interceptor7, Aramis Wyler, Crabby Abbey, weazley, LOrion, Polly Syllabic, cazcee, NM Ray, Eddie L, hepshiba, Dingodude, JoanMar, gulfgal98, pixxer, Benintn, laserhaas, Puddytat, DiegoUK, addisnana, MsGrin, CA Berkeley WV, txcatlin, Actbriniel, Vega, Onomastic, redlum jak, kerflooey, surfermom, Bob Duck, bgblcklab1, lady blair, The Scarlet Pimpernel, Stella 4 Obama, jm214, wildlife advocate, medi poli, dantewolfe, yakimagrama, mikejay611, pbgv23, imokyrok, SoCaliana, MaryRW, Haf2Read, zukesgirl64, Cinnamon, thomask, Claudius Bombarnac, Wheever, floridablue, moldyfolky, Saglaker, healthy, peregrine kate, yaque, chira2, Myfanwy, desertrose712, florence nightingale, sound of progress, VTCC73, Caddis Fly, Andrew F Cockburn, Vatexia, Curiosity, Oilwellian, credstone, SteelerGrrl, rschndr, JenS, lyta, Kurt from CMH, ParkRanger, drawingporno, Azazello, johnnr2, deltadoc, DrPlacebo, Only Needs a Beat, weatherdude, Kiterea, Siri, MikeyB33, charliehall2, ahumbleopinion, rustypatina, Philosoraptor, BoomerInOz, AreDeutz, bbkenn92, 2thanks, FloridaSNMOM, FreeSpeaker, Horace Boothroyd III, joeschmeaux, mapamp, Tyler R, CartoonDiablo, MRobDC, beefydaddy18, Nztorg, BusyinCA, MartyM, doroma, Had Enough Right Wing BS, Margd, Vote4Obamain2012, Denver11, Victim of Circumstance, monkeybox, Kinak, Glen The Plumber, rdsathene, George3, Robynhood too, Anonyman, Australian2, bob4good, Candide08, The Geogre, ericbau114, nuclear winter solstice, Blue Bell Bookworm, desert rain, WisJohn, SLDemocrat, countwebb, General Goose, Xavier Onassis EMTP, glorificus, FeltzNook, Bette Kibble, YoungArizonaLiberal, GPMOAT, Setsuna Mudo, LiberalSage, Tod OL Mundo, Says Who, broths, sbdecker, Yo Bubba, entrelac, figurine, ProgressivePatriotPA, Yastreblyansky, bugout, Jeff Murdoch, basket, maddogmo, Wisco Wherls, QDMacaw, helpImdrowning, LaraJones, The Dark Harbor, ModerateJosh, jjoncapecod, Fenbeast, Rick Shreiner, Connection, Crazy teenager, Ann B FLAW, jashead, LisaPA171, BrianInBMore

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site