With all the discussion about how bad unions are for workers and the passage of the 'right-to-work' law in Michigan, I think it is only fair to make significant changes to our work agreement. I no longer want any part of those unions and all the trouble they have caused for workers like me.
I would like my weekly salary to be reduced by at least 5%. This may not sound like much, but my work week will now consist of 12 hour days, 6 days a week, so you will actually be making a considerable savings. I will of course work as much overtime as needed without any additional compensation. Further, you may dock my salary at any time for any reason and for any amount. You can also fire me for any reason, or no reason at all.
If it is easier for you, you may pay me in company script instead of money. You may then have a company store and company housing that will accept this script as payment. If you charge a higher amount than comparable stores or housing, that is just compensation for your efforts.
I will no longer be taking holidays off, certainly not taking them off with pay. If you are good enough to give me Christmas Day, well then bless you sir. If you give me Christmas Day off with pay, you are a true christian.
I will no longer be taking vacations. Why should I get paid for not working?
I will no longer be taking sick days. First, of course, if I don't work I don't get paid and I need to work as much as possible for the low wages I'll be getting. Second, it's not like I could go to see a doctor, since I will no longer be getting any health insurance from the company and I certainly can't afford to buy it on my own. If any of my family members get sick, they are on their own. I certainly won't be taking time off to care for them.
You no longer have to worry about funding my pension. I'm pretty much going to have to work until I'm about dead so there isn't much need for it, really. Once I am no longer fit to work it's not your problem anyway. I can be a burden on my family or the state.
If there are any hazards in the workplace, well I had better watch out for myself I guess. If there is dangerous machinery I wouldn't expect you to put up railings, guards, mesh screens, or any other protective devices. I certainly don't expect you to be worried if I am exposed to dangerous chemicals or gasses. I don't expect you to provide protective clothing or respirators or even to try to reduce my possible exposure to these elements. If I am seriously injured or killed on the job, you can always hire someone to replace me. Hopefully that person will be more careful.
Do I need to mention that I expect no compensation from you if I am seriously injured from dangerous work conditions or compensation to my family if I am killed? I didn't think so.
When you do hire my replacement, feel free to discriminate according to race, gender, ethnic origin, or religion. Put it right in the job advertisement so there is no confusion. Please use these same criteria when promoting individuals. It's your company. You should do what you want.
Should any foolish person decide to try to organize a union it is your right to use any means possible to disrupt this activity, including violence against the organizers. The same applies to any workers who try to 'strike.' They deserve whatever they get for trying to tell you how to run your business
It is going to be such a pleasure working for you without that pesky union interference. I am so glad to be free from all those 'benefits' that unions always claim they provide.