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For much of my life, I've been an extremely cynical person. I find it difficult to trust in anything: people, the economy and so on. This sort of distrust doesn't build up over night. It took years, and while I've improved a bit over the last couple of years particularly, I know I still have a long, long way to go. To be honest, I highly doubt I'll ever overcome such cynicism or mistrust.

I suppose I should say more below.

It's not that I am ungrateful for what I have, but no one should have to fall through the cracks like I had. No one should have to fight so hard for so little, like I did, but that seems to be where the country is in general because people are so easily manipulated to act against their own best interests.

Part of the reason I've had little faith in people is because I've been punched and kicked so many times (Not literally, of course) that I almost come to expect this from people. It happened virtually anywhere I went, from home, to school to places of employment. I was either the odd person out or the butt of someone's jokes, as happens with many people with disabilities.

Anyone with a child who has a disability probably knows this, or has even witnessed this in some form, but in general, we are often much more likely to be maligned in the work place. The reason why is simple: The employers themselves know full well that it's difficult for one with a disability to acquire, much less maintain employment, and many managers and higher ups often exploit this.

In today's world, despite our so-called advances, folks like us have virtually been swept under the rug, at least here in America. True, not everyone's doing it, and sometimes there's a silver lining somewhere, but that's exactly the point. No one should have to work so hard to find such a thing, and to me, there's a huge difference between putting forth effort and working yourself to the point of exhaustion.

And lastly, skilled labor, education and simple human decency are practically shit on in the United States because of the abject greed and sociopathy that exists all around us. I'm willing to keep fighting, but sometimes I feel like there's nothing left.

To those of you who say I should quit my bitching, I only have this to say: It could just as easily be you.

See you around,


Originally posted to The Aspie Corner on Thu Jan 17, 2013 at 07:33 PM PST.

Also republished by In Support of Labor and Unions and Parenting on the Autism Spectrum.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (13+ / 0-)

    I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

    by Homer177 on Thu Jan 17, 2013 at 07:33:08 PM PST

  •  Hang in there, Homer. You have been blessed (7+ / 0-)

    with the curse of having to pay attention to details that everyone else is content to ignore.  

    We had to teach our Aspie son not to stare at individual parts of people's faces when he looked at them-- the lips, or a twitch on someone's cheek, or the way their ear moved when they talked-- and instead to face them and try to look at their eyes.  

    He is one of the keenest observers-- that is, understanders-- of people's behavior I have ever met, even as he is confused by people's false smiles or forced laughter.

    That's one more thing to add to my long list of small problems. --my son, age 10

    by concernedamerican on Thu Jan 17, 2013 at 08:18:28 PM PST

  •  I've been blessed with the ability to fake it (6+ / 0-)

    and pretend like I'm not completely socially inept and that my mind is totally out of the box.  That's what you have to do in America, despite all the hipster slogans to the contrary.  You have to fit within a narrow range of acceptable thoughts and behavior and identification in the US. You have to contort to have flexibility.

    Governments care only as much as their citizens force them to care. Nothing changes unless we change -- George Monbiot.

    by Nulwee on Thu Jan 17, 2013 at 08:25:57 PM PST

  •  I don't trust Wall Street, politicians, (4+ / 0-)

    and the narrative that the media spins.
    Every day we are subjected to massive manipulation and distortion.

    Finding something in the news can be trusted is a challenge.

    I find it difficult to trust in anything: people, the economy and so on.

    If cats could blog, they wouldn't

    by crystal eyes on Thu Jan 17, 2013 at 08:51:11 PM PST

  •  Trust... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    koosah, coquiero

    when my son was younger I wished he wouldn't trust quite so easily. He took everyone at face value, even people who had stabbed him in the back before, if they said they wanted to be friends today, he'd believe it (and end up getting hurt again). I did everything I could to convince him that wasn't so, and I was the mean parent and forbid him from playing with some of the worst of them. I knew it wasn't fair to protect him from all of them though, because then he'd never learn how to distrust. Sometimes that's a good skill to have, especially when you're disabled.

    What I hate is when he goes through paranoia moments, when everything everyone says is against him even when it's not. It seems to happen when his auido processing is off or something because he hears things people haven't said. It's like he only hears part of it, and the paranoia he's in tries to fill in the blanks and make it into something it's not. Or you'll be talking about something else, and he'll instantly believe you're talking about him. How do I get him to listen at that point and understand we were not?

    "Madness! Total and complete madness! This never would've happened if the humans hadn't started fighting one another!" Londo Mollari

    by FloridaSNMOM on Fri Jan 18, 2013 at 07:20:19 AM PST

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