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I just got done reading Laura Clawson's diary on 'The Sandwich Generation' (Should be in my recommendations), and I can't help but feel the need to add in my two cents because this diary fails to mention a segment of this generation that is particularly feeling the pinch. By that, I mean people like us: The disabled.

We feel the pinch most because even if we do hold employment, it's almost never gainful in any sense of the word neither financially nor socially. In fact, we're much more likely to be subjected to any number of workplace abuses because such employers know full well that we disabled folk face the most difficulty when it comes to finding and retaining employment.

People with disabilities of all stripes feel this pinch, from behavioral to mental to physical and sensory issues. It's something I've experienced for my entire adult life, and even coming as far as I have, I don't expect it to go away anytime soon. Considering I'm close to thirty years of age and practically bald, I expect it to get even worse because our society, being as self absorbed and sociopathic as it is, is obsessed with maintaining bullshit appearances.

I have virtually no hope for this getting better short term or even long term, because the systemic damage that's been done will take many decades to reverse, if that's even remotely possible.

Now, I know what some people are going to say, and let me tell you I've heard it all, so I'm just going to say this: Until it's happened to you or a family member, you have no right to tell us we're making excuses or shifting blame. I personally believe the system is broken beyond repair because of the simple fact that the moneyed class have been able to buy and control every facet of our country unchecked. Of course, that's been the nature of the country since Washington, and those who've tried to change that are little more than footnotes or slogans in history.

To be fair, I'll say there's been some success in changing the system, but unfortunately, like I said in an earlier diary, we've turned the clock back to the 1920s, at least economically speaking. How we change that is anyone's guess, but as far as the job market goes, I'm done.

I know that I'm too young to be 'tired', but a person can only take so many punches and kicks before his fighting spirit gives out. I'll still volunteer and continue to help people as I have done, though, because as far as paying jobs go, I'm unemployable.

See you around,

Homer

4:55 PM PT: Sorry for the mistake with diary authors..hopefully it won't happen again.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (18+ / 0-)

    I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

    by Homer177 on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 04:53:37 PM PST

  •  I agree that the system is broken (4+ / 0-)

    As a transgendered American, who likely has a touch of the Asperger's myself, I also was virtually unemployable. I spent a whole lot of time, first pretending to be something I was not and then allowing myself to wallow in my very justifiable outrage at the world and that same broken system. In both cases, I was self piteous and miserable. I don't think you're making up excuses or shifting blame but I do think you're allowing yourself to despair. I had excuse after excuse too and don't get me wrong, none were unjustified or fictitious. They were all very real, measurable and quantifiable. But they were still just excuses.
      The thing is, I was not allowed to remain that way. A couple of things happened. First, my friends and family got tired of it and turned me out, (at 25), and second, I was very, very nearly successful in taking my own life, (at 33). It came down to a conscious decision that I had to make: to move forward or to be more successful in suicide next time. That was what I was left with, I had lost everything else. Car, home, job, etc. Although death doesn't scare me, it's hard for me to imagine not being here tomorrow so I chose to live or to die trying. If I'm going to die, it's going to be someone else' doing, not mine.
      I'm not saying people like you and I are weak but I am saying that we are expected to be stronger than those who are not disabled or persecuted minorities. Sorry that life isn't fair but it's not. My path wasn't and still isn't easy but it's counterproductive to be self piteous and miserable. It boots nothing. It won't find you a job or restore your hair or make society a better, more tolerant place. You're not yet thirty so don't waste the next decade in self loathing and drug abuse like I did. Just don't do it. I'm fifty fucking two and I hate to tell you this but my life isn't any easier, though it is better. I just got through 28 months of unemployment myself so I know what times are like. I'm not one of those people who hasn't "been there".
      Life sucks and you got dealt a shitty hand so now your choice is to fold or draw. Like poker, you're going to have to keep a couple of the cards you were initially dealt but you can draw others that will help make a better hand.  Unlike poker, you can keep drawing and discarding as much as you want. The thing is though, like poker you can only fold once. And you don't get another hand. Just sayin'.
      Good luck.

    "Given the choice between a Republican and someone who acts like a Republican, people will vote for a real Republican every time." Harry Truman

    by MargaretPOA on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 05:47:22 PM PST

    •  I'm sure that your lecture (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      FloridaSNMOM

      is exactly what the diarist needed at this moment.  [not]

      The banks have a stranglehold on the political process. Mike Whitney

      by dfarrah on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 06:00:21 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Maybe, maybe not (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Another Grizzle

        I needed it, I got it and my life is improved because of it. There is a time for hugs and for sympathy and there is a time for hard truths. I didn't get the hard truths until people got tired of giving me sympathy. I was trying to spare Homer some of my mistakes. Sorry if that doesn't meet with your approval [not]

        "Given the choice between a Republican and someone who acts like a Republican, people will vote for a real Republican every time." Harry Truman

        by MargaretPOA on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 06:10:42 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  No you don't. (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          FloridaSNMOM

          First of all, I've made very little if any 'mistakes' at all. I've avoided the drugs, the alcohol and everything else you say you've tried. I've done nothing but try to change my life for the better for nearly a decade, and I'll be god-damned to have someone like you try and take it from me with your condescension.

          I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

          by Homer177 on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 06:14:59 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  Okay. I tried to help. (0+ / 0-)

            I offered my hand and you slapped it away. Have it your way. I did mean it when I said good luck. Sorry you don't recognize what I was saying for what it was.
            Out.

            "Given the choice between a Republican and someone who acts like a Republican, people will vote for a real Republican every time." Harry Truman

            by MargaretPOA on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 06:18:06 PM PST

            [ Parent ]

            •  And please, take your condescension with you. n/t (1+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              FloridaSNMOM

              I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

              by Homer177 on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 06:20:37 PM PST

              [ Parent ]

              •  i think you owe margaret an apology, Homer (2+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                misslegalbeagle, FG

                she is a transgendered woman who attempted suicide.  she offered you what helped her through her hard times and you tell her to get lost?  bad form, Homer.  bad form.

                Wouldn't you like to be a pepper too?

                by AntonBursch on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 07:03:21 PM PST

                [ Parent ]

                •  Fair enough. Sorry about that. (1+ / 0-)
                  Recommended by:
                  worldlotus

                  I don't exactly take speeches like that well because I've heard them more times than I can count. I can't relate to the drugs or suicide because I've never gone that far and I don't plan to anytime soon. Seeing other family members doing drugs was bad enough.

                  I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

                  by Homer177 on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 07:16:40 PM PST

                  [ Parent ]

            •  Sorry for the angry comment earlier... n/t (1+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              worldlotus

              I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

              by Homer177 on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 07:51:02 PM PST

              [ Parent ]

          •  That is what my life has been like since 2008-- (4+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Homer177, FloridaSNMOM, Deejay Lyn, kyril

            can't do anything right, according to my judges.  And all I've done is work my ass off [seriously--lots and lots of unpaid time].  I've done nothing but accommodate my judges, and it's never good enough.

            I can't even imagine how difficult it would be for anyone disabled--although I'm slowly getting there.

            I've just decided to change my mind and do all that stuff that optimists say works--act happy, believe in abundance and all that law of attraction stuff.  I'm just refuse to beat myself up like I've done in the past.  Maybe this will work for me--as of now, I'm quite chipper.  Maybe in a month and I still have no income, that might change.

            Anyway, hang in there and try to pamper yourself with something you love.  You probably don't realize the positive impact you are having with your advocacy efforts--since you can't see it all.  I hope things get better for you.

            The banks have a stranglehold on the political process. Mike Whitney

            by dfarrah on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 06:46:21 PM PST

            [ Parent ]

            •  That's basically what I've been doing as of late.. (3+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              FloridaSNMOM, Deejay Lyn, kyril

              Or at least trying to anyway. As for the optimism...well, when it comes to my county's job market, it's just not there. It seems like all most places are looking for is salesmen. That's something I just can't do because there's a certain level of dishonesty in it, depending on the product anyway.

              I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

              by Homer177 on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 06:55:19 PM PST

              [ Parent ]

    •  Part of the reason I'm volunteering.... (7+ / 0-)

      is because I've applied for a position in the county I happen to be doing work for. It's similar to what I do now but in a different department. I suppose it's my way of passing the time and maintaining my sanity until my county's HR department finally gets around to hiring people. I also know that others in the department are trying to find some way for me to get into something that pays.

      I do have a supportive wife and in-laws though. Hell, without them I probably would be dead mostly because drugs and alcohol were a strong factor in my upbringing (As was neglect). You could saying watching its effects on family members was a pretty damn good deterrent.

      I'd rather spend my time using and sharpening my skills than trying to sift through a dead job market.

      I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

      by Homer177 on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 06:02:40 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  That's a good plan. (4+ / 0-)

        Hell, I went from having a 40k per year job researching cancer to a 25k job working in a bindery, (the same thing I did when putting myself through college). You gotta do what you gotta do. I hate it but that doesn't mean I can ignore it. Again, the very best of luck and thanks for sharing.

        "Given the choice between a Republican and someone who acts like a Republican, people will vote for a real Republican every time." Harry Truman

        by MargaretPOA on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 06:13:02 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

    •  i think your comment was very kind (0+ / 0-)

      Homer didn't like it, cause he's in the mood to feel sorry for himself right now, fine, whatever, but I think it was very kind of you to write it.  :)

      Wouldn't you like to be a pepper too?

      by AntonBursch on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 07:06:51 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  ((homer)) (7+ / 0-)

    You're not too young to be tired. I've been tired many many times, sometimes when dealing with my abusive ex. Sometimes when dealing with my autistic son when he was younger and violent and undiagnosed. Sometimes when I'm dealing with my current disability and unemployability. I've been to the point where I was ready to give up. The only thing that kept me going sometimes was my kids. You have to find that one ultimate motivation for yourself. I can't tell you what it will be, it differs from person to person. Sometimes when you're tired you just have to rest a bit, find a way to recharge. Sometimes that takes a while.

    "Madness! Total and complete madness! This never would've happened if the humans hadn't started fighting one another!" Londo Mollari

    by FloridaSNMOM on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 05:56:42 PM PST

    •  Yup, that's why the end of my paid internship.. (6+ / 0-)

      was so disheartening. I know for a fact that if they could have, my supervisors would have given me a full time position. I still volunteer under them in the hopes that my accolades will catch someone's attention, but that's highly unlikely.

      If nothing else, I'll just keep being a good volunteer.

      I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

      by Homer177 on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 06:10:20 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Hey, there's no shame in volunteer work! (5+ / 0-)

    If you're on disability or supported by family, this is how you give back. Throughout my life, I've had trouble getting and keeping jobs because of Asperger's. I'm 56 now, my longest paid gig was 16 years, and being half-time, it didn't support me. However, it was a job I loved, and people appreciated the work I did.

    I currently am getting paid (though even less well than at the other gig, and at a position that may not continue beyond 2014), still doing work I love. And I do volunteer work as well, related to my special interest; I'm assistant host of a weekly program on a community radio station that features Latin American, Spanish, and now Portuguese music, poetry, and history.

    •  I know what you mean there.. (5+ / 0-)

      It's funny too, because I have a sneaking suspicion that even if I were to get a paying job I wouldn't be nearly as appreciated as I am with my county's Watershed Department. One thing I noticed about the private sector is that the employers just don't give a damn unless you make them enough money for them to notice you.

      Small wonder workers have always fought an uphill battle when it comes to labor rights.

      I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

      by Homer177 on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 06:27:07 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  What is it with employers (5+ / 0-)

      that they have difficulty retaining disabled?  

      I find it hard to believe that there wouldn't be allowances for disabiities.  Then again, a friend's autistic daughter has a tough time holding simple jobs.  I guess no one has tolerance for anything unusual.

      The banks have a stranglehold on the political process. Mike Whitney

      by dfarrah on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 06:52:49 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  We aren't profitable. (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Deejay Lyn, kyril, FloridaSNMOM

        It really is that simple if you think about it. I remember one in particular who made it clear he wanted to get rid of me, but that happens at most lower wage places.

        I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

        by Homer177 on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 06:59:29 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  I don't believe that. (0+ / 0-)

          You are helping to create value.  Unless you're just completely unproductive, there should not be any reason for such stringency by employers.

          Even if a disabled person is a complete slug [as are some regular employees], I would think the value to society of retaining the person would exceed that of having the person be unemployed.

          The banks have a stranglehold on the political process. Mike Whitney

          by dfarrah on Sun Feb 03, 2013 at 07:02:00 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

        •  I meant that I don't (0+ / 0-)

          believe your comment that 'we aren't profitable.'

          The banks have a stranglehold on the political process. Mike Whitney

          by dfarrah on Sun Feb 03, 2013 at 07:03:06 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

  •  Homer177, I know it may not mean much (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Homer177, kyril, FloridaSNMOM

    coming from an internet stranger, but I want you to know that I fight for you & will til my last breath.

    Please know that I am not the only one who does so across this nation & this world.  There are so very many-that are faceless & nameless- that spend their life doing & standing beside you.

    Please try to remember this when you are tired.  Please know that "we" are here-more than you can possibly realize.

    Remember & take strength in the remembrance.  I know this has helped me when I have felt too weary to raise the "mighty sword" yet again.

    And please try hard to never underestimate the power of one.

    •  I'll do my best. (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      worldlotus, kyril, FloridaSNMOM

      Still, It'll be a while before I see a paying job. I'm fine financially, I guess, but trying to find a job in a county that's practically a retirement community is a full time job in itself.

      I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

      by Homer177 on Sat Feb 02, 2013 at 08:52:04 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

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