I consider myself a feminist. A feminist raised me. I believe in equal pay and paid family leave. I split my checks with my dates, no questions asked. I get slightly offended by chivalry because I can open my own door and my stomach turns when I watch a hidden camera video of a woman getting catcalled just for existing on a city street.
Yet, as a self-described feminist, my first reaction to Katy Perry’s half time show was, "she is so cute!" I can reason that off by saying how her radiant personality and clear joy for what she's doing makes me attracted to her as a person, even through the TV screen. That may be true, and that's well and good, but my first thought was to use an adjective associated with her looks. Is it ingrained?
I will be honest in saying I've not been known as a fan of her music. I have no problem with it, I find it catchy and probably wouldn't change the station if one of her tunes came on, but I didn't even realize one of the songs she performed was hers and I have certainly never downloaded a piece of her music. I am more traditionally a classic rock fan. My favorite half time show in recent years was that of my all-time favorite artist, the boss himself, mister Bruce Springsteen. I have certainly been one to mention on occasion how handsome he is, especially the shape he is in for a man of his years. However, that was never in the realm of adjectives I used to describe his performance. I raved about how Classic it was, how his talent prevailed, how he just got out there and did what he does best without the bells and whistles and it was wonderful. Never even mentioned the fact that he was drenched in sweat 30 seconds in, as he always is. It's a fact I have always found endearing, a sign of his passion and commitment. Can you imagine if Katy Perry had sweat like Springsteen? How many memes do you think would already be going around the Internet? Come to think of it, through 4 costume changes, 10 straight minutes of dancing, and being rigged up twice I don't recall seeing a drop of sweat. And that's what is expected of her. Because women are held to an insane standard of perfection that men get a pass on.
Even with all that hard work she still got shot down on social media for her less-than-perfect vocal performance. Idina Menzel had a great response to similar negative criticism after her New Years Eve performance,
"I am more than the notes I hit, and that's how I try to approach my life. You can't get it all right all the time, but you can try your best, if you've done that, all that's left is to accept your shortcomings and have the courage to try to overcome them."
I would venture to say Perry didn't even suffer from any glaring mistakes as Menzel did that night, and yet every note was scrutinized. I personally have never tried to sing riding a towering mechanical lion in front of a packed stadium of over 90,000 with over a hundred million watching me at home but I'm going to venture to say I might not hit every note as perfectly as I want to. That's not what singing is about anyway - at least not in performance. It's a whole package. You know who never gets knocked for sour notes? Springsteen. And lord knows he has them sometimes. I have been to shows where I worry if he will even last the night. I re-watched Prince, U2, and Tom Petty's half time performances as well and found sour notes or lowered adjustments in each of their performances yet couldn't find a single mention of them in reviews. I can't imagine how torn apart Perry would have been if she just went out on a small stage and sang her songs with a backup band.
Katy Perry got up on that 12 minute stage and did absolutely everything she knows how to do. She put on an amazing spectacle show, sang as many of her hits as she could squeeze in, changed costumes 3 times, danced in stilettos, and flew through the air while singing her finale totally live. She is a 30-year-old woman who is one of the most successful artists in music today. She had 5 billboard top hits off her Teenage Dream album (second only to Michael Jackson), was the 2010 billboard woman of the year, has won 5 AMA awards, 14 people's choice awards and hold 3 Guinness world records; and the best thing I could say about her performance was, "she is so cute."
As a feminist, I'm ashamed. I don't know how we retrain this part of our brains, this part of our society, but we owe it to ourselves to do better. I know I do.