There are, as always, a few incidents on Black Friday. CNN was just talking about a fight breaking out in a Walmart in Florida ( these incidents seem to be reported or occur most often in Florida...have no idea why). In addition to all the problems we have in this society, the disrespect in this society and materialism is growing. It is so utterly ridiculous and materialistic. To get into a brawl over a sale item or to knock people over in a stampede to get to a sale is so totally greedy, selfish, and shows an obvious lack of priorities. And the brawling shoppers of today will most probably have children who are the brawling shoppers of the future.
Plus, I detest crowds and I would almost prefer a root canal to shopping on Black Friday.
More on flip side.
This is not a stampede at a grocery store with people who are starving. Now that would make some sense. My grandmother told me during the Great Depression that people were starving and desperate but there was a community spirit, and they helped each other the best they could. Even people desperate for work would wait in long lines and would never even push in front of the line or strike another. One did not see fights and brawls in those bread lines.
I can guarantee you my father and his family lived in dire poverty and got no help from family. They often went hungry. But those who could, shared. There were no big brawls over sale items, that is for sure. And they were desperate but never lost track of their values.
Now people are fighting in stores over Ipods and laptop computers. And I can bet you that these people would say.." well it is for Christmas for my kid". What a poor example they set!
I think I would rather teach by example to my child: respect, generosity, patience, and kindness.
How come I think these same people brawling in Walmart would be Bush supporters?
Reasons I do not laugh over Black Friday and consider the greed and selfishness symptomatic of the loss of Real Values in Society ( not the fake values articulated by the Right wingers) but real values of decency and tolerance:
*None of these people are brawling over food or necessities, that makes it all the more ridiculous. 9 million people will go to bed tonight wondering where their next meal will come from. Now that would be a reason to get crazy but one does not see these people fighting over a sale item. They would be happy to have dinner for tonight. ( statistics on People who cannot afford food comes from various sources, one is the Food Stamp Program studies that can be found on the Dept of Agriculture website)
*They are so shallow to think the perfect gift is the only way to celebrate the holidays and show love.
*Many think their kids will behave better if they get nice Christmas gifts or they buy their kids' love. There is no study that shows that and it is clearly a falsehood. As a psychologist, teens at risk came from homes of wealth as well as homes of poverty. Almost all of these kids did not talk about what they got for Christmas but they DID talk about NOT getting Love and Nurturing from their parents. Did they get video games and toys, you betcha..lots of them in many cases. ...but that was not their issue.
* As a friend of mine pointed out in one of her articles as Editor of a newspaper, children who are catered to, indulged, and constantly entertained, get whatever they want, they never learn to entertain themselves or to explore, learn, and think independently. ( to paraphrase our conversations on this and her articles on this subject). And these children then believe the world revolves around their needs and desires. As adults, they think the world owes them something and they develop into self centered, obnoxious adults.
These brawling shoppers willingly disrespect their fellow man in order to satisfy their own desires to get that sale and be willing to injure others to achieve their goal.
*Behavior like this was not even seen during the Great Depression. Ask your relatives who lived during that time. There were no stampedes and brawls even though people were starving and out of work.
What has happened in the intervening decades? You decide.
*I am appalled those of the religious right are likely to buy more gifts and become more greedy and nasty during the holidays. Now to be fair even to these Kool Aid drinkers, there are some who are not materialistic. But most I meet are so busy around the holidays with the " Christmas thing" in church and home, they become stressed and mean spirited.
* When each generation in our history exclaims the problem that the youth of today are selfish and greedy, we need only look to the examples set by parents. Kids do indeed look at and observe their parents' behavior as the barometer of what is acceptable.
*With War and poverty all around us, People are worried about getting a bargain on an item that if cashed in..could feed a family for a few days.
It is a lack of priorities and the keeping up the Jones syndrome our parents also observed. But I often wonder if my now deceased parents would say the problem is worsening.
I can speak for my mother who passed away a few months ago who said the climate in this country of the rich getting all the breaks only adds to this problem of greed. When we have an administration who rewards greed, people feel even more free to lie, cheat, steal, and beat up on others if it means getting MORE.
We are a Country of Hoarders and Consumers. We Consume more than we Give Back. We deplete natural resources and get more stuff as well. Naturally there are Many who do not.
I know sometimes I am can be a Consumer and Hoarder and it is good when people call me on it. I welcome their criticism.
I avoid stores the past few years. I Wait for free shipping online or buy on ebay and one never needs Black Friday.
I have a very close friend who gets the greatest bargains at Yard sales. She gets fantastic bargains of some very nice things.
What happened to Generosity and Sharing in this Country?
Where are the parents and teachers who encouraged us to share? I was not allowed to NOT share as a child. If I did not want to share a toy or treat, I was not permitted to play with that toy or eat that treat in front of other kids. I learned early on the value of compassion.
IN first grade, I came home and told my father he needed to finance a child's snack because she could not afford it.
I then cried, Dad called the school and secretly financed this child's snack and lunch for the school year.
I am NOT praising myself, I was a kid...I learned it from my parents who were generous and charitable. My Dad especially, having been a very poor child, could not stand to see a child without food or shelter. Toys for Tots was our family's main charity and not just because my Dad was a Marine. It was because it is a worthwhile project for needy kids.
Hey instead of Black Friday, let us strive Next year to form our Own Friday after Thanksgiving. Let us Call it
Sharing Friday where we show our generosity in some fashion. Get a toy ready for Toys for Tots, Deliver Turkey leftovers to the Poor, the Lonely, the Disabled....
Go to a Nursing home and talk to a lonely resident or call a friend who has been depressed, suffered a loss, is going through tough times and just say..I care.