I feel so sorry for them. They have to work day and night to keep their money out of the hands of the lazy middle and poor ninety nine percent. They have to constantly check with their brokerage to be sure their stock investments are earning the maximum and they have to keep checking with their inside contacts to get inside information too.
If they own real estate then they have to be sure the people managing it are not ripping them off. They have to secretly stash as much as they can in off shore accounts to keep more of it than that dumb stupid ninety nine percent wants them to. If they have any free time they have to spend it trying to figure out new ways to get more of the money we the ninety nine percent are wrongly using. Of course ANY money that goes to the ninety nine percent is used wrongly.
The one percent have to spend so much time doing things to keep that money coming in that they don't have much time for family but the good news is they can hire the ninety nine percent at the lowest possible wages to do most of the house chores like taking care of any children, cooking, cleaning, driving them around, yard work and anything else that they need. If locally hired help cost to much there are usually illegal aliens that will work cheaper and since they are paid in cash no taxes need to be paid.
Now the riffraff ninety nine percent class wants to find a solution to the illegal alien problem. Then the aliens will have to be paid decent wages and be taxed so the reason for hiring them instead of US citizens disappears. Polaticians can be bought to solve that of course.
If the rich person is white male, and it seems like most are, then they have to be sure laws favor their Good Old Boys network, not Women, Blacks, Latinos, any religious group other than theirs, etc.
Oh and about that religious thing, they have to look thru their religion to find things that support their lifestyle and make sure to support only those, not things that are for that dumb, stupid, ninety nine percent, middle class, poor folks, up itty neighbors and such.
If they have a yacht they have to make sure it's better than any of their other rich friends and can impress all of the up itty ninety nine percent.
Of course no matter how much money they have it's not enough. One way to get more money is to spend some of their hard won mega millions to get a politician elected who is beholden to them. Once the politician has done any favors for them then they have the politician in their pocket so to speak. The politician knows their rich benefactor can support a competitor just as easily as them so will do them favors to keep the money coming in.
All if this is very hard work as you can see. I'm sure I have left some things out so I'd appreciate any one letting me know.
Of course not all of the one percent have to work this hard and in the mode I've plotted out but….
This is a satire if you haven't noticed by now so please react to it as such.