CNBC's Squick Box scored an interview with Martin Shanahan the other day. Things went pretty well as long as they stuck to the subject of golf. But then, the conversation got a bit tougher. The conversation turned to basic questions of geography, like whether Ireland is part of the UK. It continued with basic questions of monetary policy, like who uses the Euro and who does not. You know, things that there's no reason for a financial journalist paid absurd amounts of money to actually know.
It seems that when CNBC journalists leave the shallow end of the kiddie pool, they drown:
CNBC Blonde no 12: What has the weaker euro meant in terms of tourism?
Shanahan: Ireland's a very globalized economy so we look to what's happening here as much as to what's happening in Europe, and we look to what's happening-
Dumbass: (Interrupting in an attempt to correct the Blonde for being a woman. Which is to say, wrong.) Your pound-
Shanahan: We have Euros.
Dumbass: (Reacts as if he's been told that Ireland murders babies. That a woman was correct was problematic, but that a guest on his show has touched those commiedollars is a shock to his system.) You have EUROS in IRELAND?!
Shanahan: (Bemused and slightly bewildered) Yes, we have Euros in Ireland. Which is
Dumbass: (Interrupting again, and playing the role of the responsible journalist, demands that this CEO answer for his nation's monetary policy.) WHY do you have euros in Ireland?!
Shanhan: (Confused, monetary policy for the Irish State not being remotely within his purview as the CEO of an Irish company) Why wouldn’t we have euros in Ireland?
Dumbass: (Petulantly chooses to believe that Ireland is like Tijuana, where one can spend any currency they wish.) Huh. I’d use the pound.
Shanahan: We've used the Euro for some time, and we're very happy
with-
Dumbass: (Saves the day by preventing an Irish CEO from announcing that he's happy with that evil Euro.) What about Scotland? I was using Scottish eh...
Shanahan: (Incredulous) Scottish pounds?
Dumbass: (Believes his point is proven! His worldview is saved! People in Scotireland DO use, wait for it-) Scottish pounds!
Shanahan: (Incredulous) They use Sterling.
Dumbass: (As if his worldview has been shattered.) They use Sterling?! (Bless his heart, the poor dear must think that Scotland uses a barter system where silverware takes the place of currency.)
Shanahan: They use sterling. But we use euro.
Dumbass: (On the verge of tears) What? Why would you do that?
Shanahan: (As if he's wandered into an episode of the twilight zone) Why wouldn’t we do that?
Dumbass: Why didn’t Scotland?! No wonder they wanted to break away! (Now he thinks that Scotland wanted independence from Ireland. This conversation has broken him.)
Shanahan: (Resigns himself to teaching basic Geography to an American Journalist on National Fucking Television) They are part of the UK. We are not.
Dumbass: (Unable to cope with the news that the Irish Free State has finally broken with the British Empire) Aren’t you right next to er?
Shanahan: We are very close but entirely separate.
Dumbass: (His mind, broken by the thought of those dastardly, lovecraftian euros, loses all knowledge of the basic fucking geography which has just been bestowed upon him by a kindly CEO) It is sort of the same, same island isn’t it?
Shanhan: (Finished with this conversation, moves in for the attack) And in the North of Ireland they have sterling.
Dumbass: (Weakly, as news of the Free State's breakaway under De Valera was one thing, but news of the 1920 partition, now that's a bridge too far.) They do?
Shanhan: Yes.
Dumbass: (Gives up) It is just too confusing...
Then, to soothe his nerves, Dumbass brings up his one and only love, the game of golf. Shanahan tries to steer the conversation in that direction, hoping to stay away from the bizarre form of absolute incompetence that is modern American journalism.
Thank fuck we have such excellent financial journalists advising us on business news. If they were some kind of international laughingstock, they might give people terrible financial advice, and be complicit in crashing our economy. The sheer stupidity might also drive someone to drink in the morning. In other news, I didn't think that Gin went well in Coffee at first, but it's really started to grow on me.
Full interview here:
For more CNBC being terrible at their jobs, watch John Stewart'sepic takedown here.
H/t to Bob Johnson for posting this:
And here's the story from The Irish Times:
Ireland’s IDA boss faces bizarre CNBC interview
...
In a bizarre prime time interview Mr Shanahan, who leads the successful foreign direct investment agency, reveals that Ireland uses the Euro.
This claim is met with incredulity by Joe Kernen, a co-anchor of “Squawk Box,” who initially insists that Ireland uses sterling, before being repeatedly corrected by Mr Shanahan.
In an increasingly strange interview Kernan also expresses surprise that Ireland is not part of Britain and is in fact a different island. “Squawk Box,” is CNBC’s signature morning programme and one of the most popular shows on the dedicated business channel.
The article's comments section is humorous. A few samples:
Reinforces all ones views on how little Americans know of anything beyond their shores. Well done Martin Shanaghan. CNBC really are a bunch of plonkers.
Well the thing is if you don't know don't interview. its basic stuff, do your research so when you do interview somebody you know at least the basics. is this not a programme commenting on the Global markets and economies!!! it beggars belief that they are interviewing people with the most basic of knowledge
@Paul.Darcy Yes, but you miss the point that interviewers must have some knowledge of the subject they are dealing with. This is supposed to be a financial programme discussing important Global issues. it looked more like a sketch from Seseme St. Are Irish golfers better because of tax breaks!!!!!! Please
To whichever Irelander called CNBC a bunch of plonkers? America heartily concurs.
To the commenter in that article who said that CNBC owes Shanahan an apology? Yes. They absolutely do.
And I am personally very sorry that CNBC even exists. If there was something I could do about that problem, believe me, I would do it.