(Note the Snark tag at the end)
Oh man...I read Ann Coulter's column about how America's interest in soccer is a sign of moral decay and the creeping influence of Liberalism. She goes point by point explaining how Soccer is the ideal Liberal sport.
Well two can play at this game.
If you ask me, and most folks do, America's interest in Soccer this year has FAR FAR more to do with the influence of Conservatism. Yessir...Soccer is the perfect embodiment of Conservative principles.
1) What other game ends in a 0 to 0 tie more than soccer? Or let me put it another way...where else can you go all the way to the end of the game, playing by the rules, working your guts out and STILL find that you've gotten exactly NOWHERE? That right there is the IDEAL Conservative America. The only way the game could possibly be any more idealistic to Conservative principles is if you could wind up with a negative score and dead with your family owing their house to the bank.
2) Reaching the goal is like winning the lottery, though theoretically everybody gets a shot....and when you make the goal, you get the glory no matter how many people helped you.
3) Soccer is a sport where the fix is in even at the highest level and money controls the outcome of the game. Again...sounds like a conservative dreamland.
"Ghana has been exposed as agreeing to take part in international football matches organised by match fixers.
An undercover investigation by The Telegraph and Channel 4’s Dispatches programme found that the President of Ghana’s Football Association agreed for the team to play in international matches that others were prepared to rig."
4) You can't use hands in soccer. That's right...even though you were BORN with those hands, and having them was no choice of yours you are NOT ALLOWED to let the world know they even exist in any useful form. They do not allow that sort of lifestyle.
Your hands are completely tied EXCEPT for the goalie, who is above the law and can do whatever the hell he wants.
5) You're just pitting two hand-disadvantage classes against each other in a futile, low-scoring game where the goalie is above the law and the wealthy have likely already bought the outcome.
6) There are no helmets or padding. Hell, in football (FOOTBALL) at least you get some sort of safety net, at least there's an attempt to keep the players from injury. Soccer gets none of that...the whole safety net is stripped away and there you are, hand-less and without any protection running up and down a field for hours with little to show for it. Again...this is precisely the world Conservatives LOVE.
7) And to quote Ann Coulter "One group of sports fans with whom soccer is not "catching on" at all, is African-Americans." -- I'll just leave that one where it is.
In conclusion...Ann Coulter is full of crap. The interest in Soccer this year isn't a sign of growing Liberal sensibilities. Soccer is the perfect analogy of the Conservative world view.
Yup.