Last night, Conservatives in the National Legislature passed the Food Freedom Act. The legislation eliminates legal prosecution for any billionaire who eats human flesh from any individual whose income was in the bottom 10%. The bill is expected to be signed into law in the next week.
Legislature Leader Boughton Paydfore told reporters the bill's purpose was to assist less affluent citizens. "As you very well know, the kinds of foods billionaires eat are very expensive. This bill will help the poor in two ways. First of all, as a luxury food product, a poor person could be worth a lot of money - which could considerably help his family's budget. In addition to that, when billionaires start eating human meat, demand for their other luxury foods will drop. As a result, other luxury foods will become more affordable to non-billionaires." Other members of the Legislature have also pointed out that darker-skinned citizens constitute a disproportionately large part of the poorest 10%, and therefore, that group will benefit the most from selling their family members to become food.
Opposition Leader Mostley Words, criticized the bill. "We should not be talking about which meats to eat. We should all be eating more organically-grown vegetables and fruit. Besides, we need to consider the impact different meats have. Scientists have pointed out that cattle contribute more to climate change than chickens do. But a human contributes at least as much to climate change as does a cow! Eating people is not good for the environment!"
Libertarian Leader Mark Savage opposed the bill. "They call this the Food Freedom Act. Nonsense! True food freedom would not restrict which people could eat the flesh of people from which income bracket. Such restrictions are unconscionable government intervention into our dietary liberties!"
Meanwhile, the legislation was strongly defended by Deputy Premier Dick Penice, who told reporters, "Every Sunday, we eat Jesus' flesh at Communion. And these fake Christians try to tell us that eating the flesh of mere mortals is wrong! They need to go back and read their Bibles!"
At a rally in Dustbowl, Premier Rump told the crowd, “This is incredible! Made right HERE in Great Nation! These are Great Nation citizens — not imports — which will be eaten!”