Like most true progressives, I am shocked, shocked by media reports that the NSA is spying on American internet and telecom traffic. While it had been reported at times over the past decade, a critical piece of information was missing from that coverage: Permission to be concerned about it. Now that that permission has been granted, the matter has clearly become very serious. I am very grateful to the media for correcting my priorities, and pledge to diligently shine a spotlight on this issue right up to the moment I completely forget about it. As such, I have bravely written this Google-ad-supported diary whose data and that of everyone who reads it will be promiscuously distributed throughout the internet without my permission or prior consent, and gleaned not only by the NSA, but by Chinese intelligence, Russian intelligence, MI6, and any corporation that cares to pay Google to see the information.
There are a few things I could theoretically do with this diary. I could...
1. Try to think of suggestions for how individuals can increase their internet privacy.
2. Promote efforts to hold telecom companies accountable for acquiescence to illegal demands from government agencies.
3. Raise the possibility that citizen groups could form their own nonprofit telecoms, ISPs, and other web services with the absolute pledge to only obey search warrants granted through legitimate processes of law.
4. Suggest ways to limit the power and impunity of law enforcement, which have been exercised abusively for decades without any special access to information.
...But I'm not going to. That would just be a distraction from the most important subject: How much I hate Barack Obama and admire Rand Paul. I admire Senators who crib Thomas Jefferson in speeches between hosting fundraisers for fascists, and despise Presidents who fail to wage one-man war on their nation's entire military-industrial-intelligence infrastructure and most of Congress. Here are some links to other Google-ad-supported content echoing my position without adding any factual substance to the discussion:
http://youtu.be/...
http://youtu.be/...
If you question or differ in any way with this diary, you are an Authoritarian blindly leading your countrymen to the slaughter. Unquestioning agreement with and robotic regurgitation of the memes presented in this diary across multiple websites, however, is the epitome of intelligent citizenship and courageous principle, and I am happy to accept in advance my Glenn Greenwald Excellence in Liberty, Honest Blogging, and Critical Thinking Award.
If you have any (totally supportive and unskeptical) questions, please send them to imatool3664712@gmail.com. I will be cross-posting this and additional materials about my privacy fears to my social media accounts, along with the intimate details of my life that I routinely share with random internet strangers so they can bask in the glory that is I.
I would say more, but my attention span is already losing track of what I'm talking about, so I'll need another media fix to remember what I'm supposed to be outraged and terrified about today. The Google-ad-supported fight for internet privacy marches on, brothers and sisters!
8:40 PM PT: PS, I hereby pledge to HR any diary that treats this issue with impiety. Failing to silence my critics would be Authoritarian. They must be shut up for the sake of Freedom.
9:40 PM PT: PPS, Please do not trouble me with substantive criticisms, just post a bunch of irrelevant, petulant distractions attacking my motives and tone. Ahhh, that's nice. Thanks.